We met at Copper Grill for a long and leisurely lunch.  It was the perfect chance for me to get to know them.  I rarely get this chance.  After lunch, we spent a little more than two hours shooting.  We walked around downtown LR and Scott (one of my favorite spots) and had a great time making photos.  My only regret of the day was not spending more time with them.

Kristin will be heading back to LR (YAY!) in May for bridals and I am then heading to Memphis for their big day in September.  And it can’t come soon enough.

In this morning’s HighProfile section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, I read an article by Dr. David Lipschitz on the top 10 ways to stay married.  Since it’s wedding season, I thought I would share it with my readers.

Recently the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that more and more couples are choosing to live together before getting married.From 1982 to 2010, the number of women below age 45 who lived with a domestic partner out of wedlock increased from 3 percent to 11 percent.  Marriage isstill occurring, but later in life so that by age 40, 90 percent of women and 80 percent of men have been married at least once.

The number of younger people who haven?t married is increasing, with 38 percent of women under 40 reporting in 2010 having never been married compared with 33 percent in 1995. Black women were the least likely to be married (55 percent) followed by Hispanics (49 percent), Asians (39 percent) and white women (34 percent).

However, across the board, 58 percent of marriages still end in divorce.  Divorce is least likely in Asian women (69 percent remain married) compared with 54 percent in white women and 37 percent for black women. Hispanic men are the most likely to stay married (70 percent) compared to 54 percent for white and 53 percent for black men.

The chances of marrying later are higher for those with more education and secure employment, both of which are strong predictors of a successful marriage. If you have a college or postgraduate education, the chance of remaining married after 20 years is 72 percent compared to 41 percent for those without a high school or college degree.

Clearly children being raised by a single parent, living in a dysfunctional home or being raised in poverty affects their future and opportunity for success. Nothing is more important to the health, happiness and welfare of families than saving a marriage. Here are 10 steps that have been shown to make a marriage more likely to succeed:

1) Stay faithful. Nothing is more important than monogamy. Infidelity is the greatest cause of loss of trust and crashed relationships. 

2) Talk and keep talking. Quite a few of the long-term couples I’ve known credit total communication for keeping them together. They have no secrets and I mean none. They share everything: concerns about work, issues with children, personal details about friends, and so on. 

3) Learn how to argue and negotiate. Brutal fights, throwing insults and demeaning statements lead to deep scars. Deal with feelings first. It’s easy to criticize or judge others for behavior we don’t approve of, or hammer them for personal or professional shortcomings. 

4) To be a better man, think like a woman. Personally I feel sorry for the Macho Man, the tough dude who takes no prisoners. He’s always in charge.  He’s a *leader* who takes no flak from anyone — including his partner. For most women, nurturing is the very essence of being connected and in love. They know how important it is to comfort and support, to be there in times of need. Men can learn a lot from women. True intimacy means sharing with your partner your vulnerabilities.

5)  Love is more important than sex. Many men I know — and I’d have to include myself among them — are beggars when it comes to sex. There-s nothing wrong with wanting sex and asking for sex. There?s something very wrong with demanding it. Sex is not a *right* It’s about giving, a shared joy that lifts both partners’ spirits.

6)  Relationships change, so adjust. Even 30 years later it seems as if it were yesterday that we started to date. Time flies. And every day the rules of the game change and so do we.

 7) Every relationship takes work. Never take your partner for granted, work on being closer and be willing to compromise.

Love grows. It’s an interesting thing. We tend to think of love and passion as the province of the young, but the opposite seems to be true. Surveys of couples indicate that those in their 50s have a much higher level of love and commitment than those in their 30s.

9) Commitment counts. Commitment doesn’t happen all at once. For some couples, it might occur in months; others might not get there for years. But successful couples invariably take this crucial step.

10) Get help before giving up. I would never argue that a bad marriage is better than divorce, but always seek help before throwing in the towel on a relationship. 

There is nothing more precious than a good marriage, something we should
cherish and work diligently to assure success despite some overwhelming odds.

Dr. David Lipschitz is a gerontologist in Little Rock.

Laura and Chris were the winners of my free engagement portrait session I gave away on January at this year’s 2012 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bridal Show.  Out of more than 150 people who signed up at my booth, I drew Laura’s name.

She and Chris were so happy with their photos, they booked me yesterday to shoot their wedding in July.  And I couldn’t be happier.

Leigh & Lane were married on March 10, 2012 at Pulaski Heights United Methodist Church and they celebrated with friends and family at Trapnall Hall.  Much love to you both!

Also, I need to give a big shout-out to Kathryne who is in nursing school.  The morning after her wedding, bright and stupid early at 8 a.m., Kathryne had a major test that was 1/3 of her final grade.  Not only did she pass, but she passed with an “A”.  So who says you can’t get married and kick-ass on a test the next morning.  She and Jeremy will enjoy a delayed honeymoon in a few months.  Congrats to you both.

Vendor information:

Dress: Ann’s Bridal in Searcy
Shoes: JcPenney‘s
BM dresses: Victoria’s Secret and their shoes are also from JCP
Men’s wear: Burlington Coat Factory
Hair and makeup: Hair/friends.  Makeup: The Bride
Flowers: Cabbage Rose boutique
Cake: Blue Cake Company
Invites: www.weddingpaperdivas.com
Save the dates:  Serendipity in Bend, Oregon

If you have NO idea what I’m talking about, take a minute to read a recent blog post on my e-session with Jenn and Paul and their three pooches.  Let’s just say it took my camera bag nearly six weeks to air out.

Here are a few of my favorites from my e-session with Sheri and Shannon last Thursday.  Loved this dogs too!