10 Ways to Stay Married

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In this morning’s HighProfile section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, I read an article by Dr. David Lipschitz on the top 10 ways to stay married.  Since it’s wedding season, I thought I would share it with my readers.

 

Recently the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that more and more couples are choosing to live together before getting married.From 1982 to 2010, the number of women below age 45 who lived with a domestic partner out of wedlock increased from 3 percent to 11 percent.  Marriage isstill occurring, but later in life so that by age 40, 90 percent of women and 80 percent of men have been married at least once.

 

The number of younger people who haven?t married is increasing, with 38 percent of women under 40 reporting in 2010 having never been married compared with 33 percent in 1995. Black women were the least likely to be married (55 percent) followed by Hispanics (49 percent), Asians (39 percent) and white women (34 percent).

 

However, across the board, 58 percent of marriages still end in divorce.  Divorce is least likely in Asian women (69 percent remain married) compared with 54 percent in white women and 37 percent for black women. Hispanic men are the most likely to stay married (70 percent) compared to 54 percent for white and 53 percent for black men.

 

The chances of marrying later are higher for those with more education and secure employment, both of which are strong predictors of a successful marriage. If you have a college or postgraduate education, the chance of remaining married after 20 years is 72 percent compared to 41 percent for those without a high school or college degree.

 

Clearly children being raised by a single parent, living in a dysfunctional home or being raised in poverty affects their future and opportunity for success. Nothing is more important to the health, happiness and welfare of families than saving a marriage. Here are 10 steps that have been shown to make a marriage more likely to succeed:

 

 

1) Stay faithful. Nothing is more important than monogamy. Infidelity is the greatest cause of loss of trust and crashed relationships. 

 

2) Talk and keep talking. Quite a few of the long-term couples I’ve known credit total communication for keeping them together. They have no secrets and I mean none. They share everything: concerns about work, issues with children, personal details about friends, and so on. 

 

3) Learn how to argue and negotiate. Brutal fights, throwing insults and demeaning statements lead to deep scars. Deal with feelings first. It’s easy to criticize or judge others for behavior we don’t approve of, or hammer them for personal or professional shortcomings. 

 

4) To be a better man, think like a woman. Personally I feel sorry for the Macho Man, the tough dude who takes no prisoners. He’s always in charge.  He’s a *leader* who takes no flak from anyone — including his partner. For most women, nurturing is the very essence of being connected and in love. They know how important it is to comfort and support, to be there in times of need. Men can learn a lot from women. True intimacy means sharing with your partner your vulnerabilities.

 

5)  Love is more important than sex. Many men I know — and I’d have to include myself among them — are beggars when it comes to sex. There-s nothing wrong with wanting sex and asking for sex. There?s something very wrong with demanding it. Sex is not a *right* It’s about giving, a shared joy that lifts both partners’ spirits.

 

6)  Relationships change, so adjust. Even 30 years later it seems as if it were yesterday that we started to date. Time flies. And every day the rules of the game change and so do we.

 

 7) Every relationship takes work. Never take your partner for granted, work on being closer and be willing to compromise.

 

Love grows. It’s an interesting thing. We tend to think of love and passion as the province of the young, but the opposite seems to be true. Surveys of couples indicate that those in their 50s have a much higher level of love and commitment than those in their 30s.

 

9) Commitment counts. Commitment doesn’t happen all at once. For some couples, it might occur in months; others might not get there for years. But successful couples invariably take this crucial step.

 

10) Get help before giving up. I would never argue that a bad marriage is better than divorce, but always seek help before throwing in the towel on a relationship. 

 

There is nothing more precious than a good marriage, something we should
cherish and work diligently to assure success despite some overwhelming odds.

Dr. David Lipschitz is a gerontologist in Little Rock.

 

Engagements with Sheri and Shannon

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This time, there was no dog pee involved.

 

If you have NO idea what I’m talking about, take a minute to read a recent blog post on my e-session with Jenn and Paul and their three pooches.  Let’s just say it took my camera bag nearly six weeks to air out.

 

Here are a few of my favorites from my e-session with Sheri and Shannon last Thursday.  Loved this dogs too!

 

Top 20 Wedding Photography Mistakes

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I read a recent article on The Knot.com about the Top 20 Wedding Photography mistakes.  It’s a compilation from wedding photographers around the country of what NOT to do on your big day.  These are in no particular order.  I’ll add my two-cents in after each tip.  To see the original article, please go here.

1. Not Finalizing the Wedding Day Schedule

“Talk to your photographer before finalizing the schedule for your wedding day. There is a lot to consider in terms of photographing and natural light. Certain times of day are more photogenic than others (midday sun casts harsh, unflattering shadows on the face while late day sun casts a beautifying warm glow on everyone).”

–Hillary Harvey, Hillary Harvey Photography

Well said.  I agree with this 110%

2. Not Sticking to the Finalized Schedule

“Pay attention and respect the schedule you and your photographer discuss prior to your wedding. Being an hour late can make or break your images. Don’t just assume it only takes 10 minutes!”

–Alison Clinton, Horizon Photo

Sometimes even 30 minutes late can throw things into chaos.  I always, always pad my time with clients when making the schedule.  If you have relatives (or members of the wedding party) that are chronically late…we all have them….lie to them about the start time.  If you want them there for 2 p.m., tell them 1:30.  I know it’s not the honorable thing to do, but they must respect it’s your day and they need to be on time.

3. Letting Relatives Get in the Way

“We have a name in the industry for a guest who shows up with pro photo equipment and takes ‘unofficial wedding photos’ — we call him Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob may think he’s doing you a favor by taking more shots for the couple, but usually he just gets in the way and makes us miss our shots. Tell Bob to leave the camera at home and just enjoy his time at the wedding without working.”

— Sandra O’Claire, Eau Claire Photographics

I don’t mind “Uncle Bob” shooting photos near me on occasion.  He’s even welcome to piggy-back my family shots, but my photos must come first.  I once had a family member actually shove me aside to get a photo.  I nearly lost it.  The bride did not see this, but the bridesmaids did. 

4. Not Explaining How You Like to Look in Photos

“Beauty is really very subjective. I ask my clients to send a photo of themselves before the wedding that they like and one that they don’t.”

— Dorie Hagler, Dorie Hagler Photography

If you photograph better one the right side compared to the left, etc., let me know in advance.

5. Focusing Too Much on Taking Photos

“A good photojournalist can capture the story of their day and capture some artistic portraits while keeping the time away from loved ones to a minimum.”

–Alex Fagundo, Candidly Elegant Photography

It’s rare for me to have total free reign when it comes to the photos for the day.  I prefer to keep the family shots to a minimum.  If you must have them, send me a list but please keep it short.  The more time I spend on the posed shots, the fewer natural shots I can take.

6. Not Getting a Second Shooter

“Sometimes brides want to save a little money or feel that it is too obtrusive for more than one photographer to be present on the wedding day. But consider this: The second photographer offers another unique point of view throughout the entire day that you would not have had photographed.”

–Chris Leary, Chris Leary Weddings

Many photographers charge a little extra for a second shooter, myself included.  I offer one package where a second shooter comes with.  But keep in mind that whether you have two photographers or 10, there’s no way to capture every single moment of the day.  I’ve worked weddings with 300+ guests and missed very little.  You just have to know how to work your event.

7. Not Getting Help Organizing Your Guests

“Designate someone that you trust and who knows your family and friends to be in charge of organizing people for portraits. That person can gather the people needed, direct them on what shots they will be in, and then release them when they are done. It keeps things moving quickly, smoothly, and enjoyably.”

–Erica Natali, Natali Photography

I love love LOVE it when I have someone to wrangle guests and family members and does this well.  All too often that designated person gets distracted by too much chit-chat. 

8. Trying to Make Things “Perfect”

“Just have fun — whether it’s getting a little cake on your face or some little detail that didn’t turn out 100 percent like you had hoped, go with it, have fun, and keep smiling. The photos will be so different if the bride is scowling at her new hubby, don’t you think?”

–Jennyfer Huff, Florida Weddings Photography

Enough said. 

9. Skipping the “First Look”

“A ‘first look’ [aka taking your couple photos before the ceremony] is so much better than trying to rush bride and groom portraits after the ceremony — especially if your ceremony ran a little late (which most do). You end up trying to hurry up and get to the party.”

–Ashley Nardello, Cleopatra Photography

I’ve had a few clients refuse the first look and trying to wrangle people afterwards was a disaster.  Occasionally it works, but most often it does not.  I’ve also talked a few clients into doing the first look and afterwards, they admitted that not doing it would have been a mistake.

10. Trying to Pose

“A good photographer gives direction for a reason: to get the best moments and shots from the day. The best thing to do is relax and act naturally. Be in the moment. Be hopelessly in love with each other — the pictures will turn out smashingly!”

–Brook S. Hollis, Lucent Photography

The less you tell me to do, the better.  Just be yourself and I’ll take it from there.

11. Waiting Too Long to Book Your Photographer

“If you find a great photographer, book them! Good photographers book a year or more out and won’t be available forever. Nothing is more frustrating than choosing a wedding photographer and then finding out that they booked out your date a week prior.”

–Jeff Livengood, Digital Dreammakers

If you like my work, book me early.  I had to turn away 17 people last year for one date alone. 

12. Looking at the Camera All the Time

“Some couples want candid photographs, but they always feel like they need to look up at the camera and stop what they are doing. It could be an instinct, but remember — unless the photographer asks you, try to act natural for the best journalistic shots.”

–Dina Konovalov, A Dream Picture

“Smile honey!”  These are two words every parents should NOT say to their children.  This often leads to you looking into the camera at every single moment.  It is instinctive, but is shouldn’t be.

13. Not Providing a List of “Don’t Takes”

“Let the photographer know before the wedding if there are certain photos you don’t like. It can be anything such as ‘I don’t like the photos you took of us not smiling’ or ‘I don’t like wide-angle close-ups; they make us look weird and fat.’ It totally throws off a photographer’s creative approach when a bride spills her feelings while you are in the zone.”

–Tony & Natasha, Artistique Photography Productions

If you DON’T want something, let me know ahead of time….please.  It’s heartbreaking for me to hear afterwards that you hated a particular angle.

14. Asking for Too Many Shots

“If clients have done their homework and have chosen an experienced and reputable wedding photographer, then chances are that photographer does not need to be provided with a two-page spreadsheet of every combination for family portraits.”

–Millie B., The Studio Weddings

I limit my shot list to 20.  If there’s time for more, that’s great.  But I try my best to keep it at 20.  And PLEASE communicate your requested list with your (and his) parents.  Parents often throw their list into the mix.

15. Not Choosing a Photographer You Connect With

“Make sure that we get along. I work with clients for sometimes two years or more. If we don’t get along, it’s going to be a very long and very bumpy ride.”

–Gillian Reinhardt, Carolina Studios

In addition to liking my work, you have to like me as a person.  This goes for any photographer.  If you don’t like that person or you’re not comfortable with them, it’ll show in your photos. 

16. Skipping the Engagement Session

“Engagement sessions increase the confidence and comfort level of the bride and groom in front of the camera and allow the bride and groom to practice having their photo taken in a fun, no-stakes atmosphere. Ultimately, an engagement session will let the bride and groom see why the photographer might tell them to do something funny, and this leads to wedding day comfort and trust in the photographer.”

–Heather Cook Elliott, Heather Cook Elliott Photography

This is very important.  You can really tell how you’ll get along from the e-session.

17. Not Hiring a Professional Photographer

“Choose someone who is a professional and not just anyone with a digital camera and a website. Make sure the photographer you choose has an education as a photographer, has apprenticed or interned with other photographers and paid their dues, and has the experience and ability to consistently capture the moments of your wedding no matter what situations may arise. You should expect to spend between $2,000 and $6,000 for any decent wedding photography.”

–Chris & Dawndy, Bendet Photography

Do your homework.  Call around and ask.  Ask for referrals if you need.  Typically – if you go cheap, you get cheap.

18. Falling for Photography Trends

“Too many times, brides fall for something trendy in photography. It is critical that these images stand the test of time and are valued for each following generation. Trends are fun but rarely last! Look for a photographer with a classic shooting style, and be wary of too much Photoshop and digital ‘tricks’ and manipulations.”

–Brie Castell, Castell Photography

If you need a fancy Photoshop filter to make a photo better, it wasn’t a good photo from the start.  I try to steer away from trends.  My style is pretty clear. 

19. Forgetting the Details

“Think about spending a few minutes to decide what other elements are important to photograph — did your sister make special wedding favors? Are you carrying important heirlooms with you? Bring an extra invitation, and try to keep those special elements easily accessible for photos.”

— Nick Coleman, Dave Cross Photography

The little things make for excellent additions to your album.  I love the details and I shoot the hell out of ‘em!

20. Not smiling — All the Time

“Tell all of the individuals walking down the aisle to look up and smile. If they are too nervous to smile, they should at least keep their head up and stare down the aisle. This helps keep the face from forming the ‘evil double chin’ look that happens when you stare at the floor while walking!”

–Christin Berry, Blue Martini Photography

– Justine Lorelle Blanchard

Smile and smile big – but no cheezy smiles….especially during the recessional.  As you walk down the aisle after the ceremony, it looks terrible if you’re not smiling.  The same goes as you walk in with your father or whomever is giving you away!

New Year’s Eve with Allison and Adam

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I could not think of a better way to spend the start of 2012 than celebrating with Allison and Adam.

 

 

Vendor Information:

The Dress: Paloma Blanca, Low’s Bridal in Brinkley
Shoes: Badgley Mischka, Nordstrom
Veil: Hand-made, by the bride’s grandmother
Bridesmaids dresses: J Crew
Mensware:  Men’s Warehouse
Hair: ShaRhonda Adams
Makeup: Alicia Mauldin
Flowers: Curly Willow
Cake: Blue Cake Company
Music and lighting: Central Arkansas Entertainment; Pianist, Pam Smith; Vocalist, Jeremy Wilson
Invites/program and other paper items: Hobart’s Printing
Davors: Donation in honor of guests to Wounded Warrior Project
Reception and Caterer: Clinton Presidential Center and Forty-two restaurant
Transportation: Vintage Motor Car Company (car), The Princess’s Carriage, Rose Bud, AR (horse drawn carriage)
Videographer: IOU productions, Monroe, LA
Photographer: MOI at Photography by KES Weddings

Sh*t Brides Say

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I normally don’t post videos but this is HILARIOUS! It’s comes to you courtesy of the weddingchannel.com. I also posted it to my Facebook page, but the YouTube version is much better….I hope you get as good of a laugh as I did.

 

Of Darkness and Light

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I recently read a very interesting article that I really loved in a recent issue of Rangefinder magazine.  I wanted to share it.

 

 

December 01, 2011 — A few weeks ago a potential client in my studio politely said, “I 
really like that picture but it seems a little dark.” I totally get 
it. I do. I understand why she may look at certain images that aren’t 
over-lit, overexposed, or over processed, and call them dark. Yup. But when I took a moment to explain that there was no need to use 
flash, no need to overexpose it, or to have every element within the 
image bright and shiny, she saw exactly why it’s not dark!



At the beginning of any wedding day, when I first walk into the room where the bride’s getting ready, the very first thing I look for is where the light is coming from. If there’s no light in that room, I find another room! I’m looking for quality light, not quantity. I have 
no use for speedlights in this kind of situation, so they’re still in my bag, 
and they normally don’t come out to play until I shoot the family 
formal photos. I understand that the light level may be low, so I’m 
working with my Nikkor 35mm f/1.4G, and my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4G on my D3S 
bodies. However, my goal is to find the quality directional light to 
work with in order to create texture, dimension and mood. My fast 
Nikkor glass and the terrific high-ISO performance of the D3S allow me 
to produce images that maintain the essence of the environment with 
just a touch of window light.

It’s not uncommon for a planner, or the mother of the bride to turn on all of the lights available. I’ll politely tell them that I don’t need all of that light, turn them all off, and I tell them I’d rather just use what’s 
there. Invariably, doubt will enter their minds, and there are times I’ll reassure them with a peek at my LCD. Much of it comes down to style. I prefer to make the light a part of 
the story. I have to give Joe McNally a shout-out, because when I heard him speak about the language of light, and when I viewed his images, his use of light always speaks volumes about the story he was telling. When I shoot weddings, I’m doing my best to capture things as they unfold and utilize the light available to give the moment as much 
graphic impact as possible.

I also prefer to use the light in a directional fashion, which creates texture, dimension and mood, which have been reminiscent of my photographic style. I have no problem understanding that my style isn’t for every single bride, and that someone could easily say this image is dark. But the question I asked this particular bride in my studio was “What exactly would you like me to make brighter?” and “Can you think about what would have happened here if I used a flash bounced all over the place?” I explained that a documentary type image while a bride is 
getting ready should depict what she was feeling, and I wanted to maintain the mood of the environment for her and her mother so they could remember how it really was. I told her this was achieved through 
the mood of the light, and the moment they shared. She got it. She understood completely. She said it’s what drew her to my work to begin with, but couldn’t put her finger on it. I’ll be shooting their wedding next year!

 

The original article can be found here.

 

Helping others

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A wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of someone’s life.  For me as a wedding photographer, I am honored and privileged that I am chosen by my clients to document and share in their day.  It’s always my goal to leave my clients with excellent photos and a sense of confidence they hired the right person.

 

But for some people, who they hire to photographer their wedding photos turn out to be a disaster.

 

The case of Sheri and Bryan*** is just such an example. ***Just so you’ll know, these are not their real names.  I changes their names to protect their privacy.
Please let me be very clear, from the start Sheri and Bryan were not my wedding clients.  But I wish they were.

 

Back in October, I received an e-mail from Sheri asking me for my help.  She hired the wrong wedding photographer.  This is what she wrote:

 

 ”Hello Karen, I’m contacting you because I was married in August 2010 and unfortunately I still don’t have a wedding book, prints or any of the products that I paid my photographer for.  My photographer was also from North Little Rock and ended up filing bankruptcy with the business we hired her under and then changed to another business right before our wedding.   We had no idea all of this was going on, we just knew she kept putting us off.  Now she is out of business again and we still have nothing we’ve paid for.  It is a long story and a complete mess!!!  I am just one of who knows how many more brides that this has happened to.  

Anyway, I finally received CDs with the rights to the photos but am not sure if they have been edited.  I think they have, but I don’t know anything about that.  There are like 1700 of them!  I really want an album and at this rate, I may never get what I paid my photographer for.  I’ve been checking around to see what it would cost for me to hire another photographer to design an album for me using my CDs.  Is this something you would be willing to do? If so, can you send me a price quote? Also, do you use Vision Art Books? 

I’ve been married over a year and haven’t been able to show a book to anyone.  It has been awful! Thanks so much, look forward to hearing from you.”

 

My heart sank.

 

I wanted to help Sheri.  In fact, I could not wait to help Sheri.  I returned her e-mail stating that I was more than happy to help her.  We scheduled a meeting at a local coffee shop for the next week.

 

When I met Sheri, she was bright, bubbly and full of life.  We sat down and talked for just a few minutes about non-wedding issues and then I asked her to explain what happened.  She nearly broke down in tears while explaining to me that over the past 14 months (in October) since her wedding, she has been fighting to get her wedding photos.

 

She had hired a wedding photographer (who I will not name) for her August 2010 wedding and at first, everything seemed OK.  They met for their engagement session and everything went smoothly.  The problem began when it was several weeks…and then months…before she was able to proof her photos.  Then it was time for her bridal session.  The same thing.  The photos were taken and it was several weeks…and then months…before she was able to proof her photos.  Sheri contented to say that she had to hound her photographer to get the large bridal portrait that she had prepaid for.  Sheri barely got it in time to get it framed for the wedding.

 

Sheri admitted to me that she started to get a bad feeling that this was not going to end good.  Even her wedding planner, strongly suggested she find someone else.  But Sheri, being a kind and trusting person, decided to stick with her chosen photographer.

 

Then came the wedding day.

 

Sheri told me the photographer was an hour late and completely missed her getting dressed and all the fun that surrounds those images.  Other than being an hour late, everything went smoothly.

 

After waiting several weeks to view her photos, they were finally posted.  She and Bryan placed her wedding order for all of the albums in November of 2010 and the photographer responded that she got it.  After that, Sheri didn’t get any kind of response until finally in March 2011 Bryan stopped by the photographer’s house and he was told that our order was in the works.  The photographer immediately responded to Sheri by email she was told she’d receive her CD’s.  The CD’s were dropped off at Bryan’s place of work, but the photographer never bothered to speak to Bryan.

 

That was pretty much the last time they heard from their photographer.  Sheri’s lawyer sent the photographer letter and they said they still intended to get us our order but all of their photo equipment was sold and the photographer had to get another job to help pay for the orders that were owed to past clients.

 

Sheri’s family had invested more than $3,000 with this photographer.  She was supposed to get:  An heirloom wedding album, an engagement guest book, a brides album, two parent albums, a bridal portrait, a photo collage, and a decorative DVD case for their images.  All she received was the guestbook and the bridal portrait.

 

Sheri handed me the DVD and I popped it into my laptop to look at the images.  To my surprise, the quality was quite good.  The photographer used a Canon 5D which is one of the two cameras I use.  Since her wedding was during the day at Garvan Gardens, all of the photos were brightly lit, crisp and clear.  Even her bridal photos looked good.  The photographer even took the time to do basic color-corrections.

 

So we discussed the size and type of album she wanted.  Sheri chose the largest album I offer: 60 pages that holds 120 photos.  I asked her to choose her photos and I’d get stared.  She just looked at me and asked if I would simply do everything for her.  She gave me complete freedom (Yay for me) to choose a combo of bridal and wedding day photos.  She even said I do a combination of color and B&W images.  It’s rare when my clients give me this much freedom, but when I do get it, I love it.  It allows me to pick the photos that work well with one another.

 

I explained to Sheri that it would be several weeks before I could get started.  I had 2 or 3 albums of my own clients in my work queue.  I do my albums in the order that I receive them.

 

Once I began working on her album, I started opening images and my heart sank — again.  Not only did the photographer do a little color correction, but they were downsized as well.  All the images were re-sized to 4×6 at 300 DPI.  GULP!  I nearly cried myself because the size album Sheri chose typically required much larger images, four times larger.  For an example, the Canon 5D shoots a photo that’s 36MB when opened as a JPEG.  These images were about 7MB.

 

But since these files were so crisp, they held up just fine, better than I expected.  I proofed the album to Sheri and after two small changes, it was uploaded to my printer.  In less than 10 days, the album was back in my hands and it looked perfect.  I was thrilled with the way it turned out.  I was a little nervous about the sizing, but it was perfect.

 

I called Sheri and she and Bryan met me at Starbucks on a Sunday evening.  I sat with a smile on my face as she flipped through her album with an even bigger smile on hers.  Both she and Bryan were so happy to receive their wedding album, nearly 16 months after their wedding.  I addition to their album, I had a small surprise for her.  I gave them an 11×14 float wrap as my gift to them.  I felt they deserved something to hang on their wall.

 

As we headed to our cars, she gave me the warmest hug and a big word of thanks.  It was all I needed.

 

A couple of weeks later, I received a Christmas Card from Sheri,

“Dear Karen, I just wanted to thank you again for taking the time to design a wedding album for me.  It is absolutely beautiful and tells the story of our day perfectly!  After everything we’ve gone through over the past year, we appreciate you more than you will ever know.  I show our album to everyone!  It was very sweet and thoughtful of you to get us prints and a canvas wrap for us too.  You went above and beyond for us and we can’t thank you enough!  You were awesome to work with.  I can’t wait to recommend you to anyone I know that is looking for a photographer.  I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!”

 

I wish Sheri and Bryan had been my clients from the start, but they weren’t.  I was more than happy to help them, but it infuriates me that I need to help them at all.  When bad wedding photographers rip off people, it gives good wedding photographers like myself, and the many others like me around Arkansas a bad name.  The bad photographers make people not to want to trust the good ones.

 

So if you’ve hired a wedding photographer and you’re getting a bad feeling from them, listen to your instinct.  You’re probably right.  Don’t be afraid to break your contract with them and hire someone else, even if it costs you the deposit or more.  Because when it comes to your wedding day and your wedding photos.  There aren no “do overs.”

 

There are lots of wonderful, talented and reputable wedding photographers in Arkansas.

 

And we’re here for you.

 

Engagements with Jenn and Paul….and dog pee!

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Yes, you read that right.  Dog pee.  I’ll explain later.

 

I’ve had many an engagement session with dogs.  I love dogs.  Even though I’m a cat girl by nature, I love pups.  They are always welcome at my engagements sessions….and will always be welcome.  Jenn and Paul’s canine trio is no different.  Well… maybe a little different.

 

Jenn and Paul were my last engagement session of 2011.  We shot on Friday, December 2nd in downtown Little Rock and the session started off as most do when involving the dogs….they run around and sniff everything.  Me and my camera bag included.  As I said, I have cats and no doubt they smelled Rex and Callisto prominently on my camera bag.  We headed up to the roof of Jenn’s office building for a few sky line shots.  Everything was going great.  The dogs were running around sniffing everything.  After about 15 or so, they calmed down.   Pete, the yellow lab, plopped down on the ground.  I guess he was bored.

 

 

After a few snaps of just Jenn and Paul, we did a family portrait of them and all three pups.  It’s very hard to get three dogs (and two people) to look at you all at the same time — not without the secret weapon.  The squeaky toy.  The best $3.00 you can spend at Pet Smart.   One or two of the *squeak squeaks* and any pup (or person) will look at you.  The results worked very well.  Jenn said this photo was one of Paul’s favorites.

 

 

Notice the sideways glance Pete was giving me.  Well he wasn’t giving it to me — he was giving it to my squeaky toy.  He wanted that thing desperately.  After three or four snaps, he’d leave and head straight for the toy.  Paul wrangled him back and we did that over and over and over.  Finally, once I knew I had that shot, I gave Pete the squeaky toy.   All I can say is I hope it was a painless death for my toy.  Pete just massacred it.  Honestly I found it funny.  Until Pete nearly swallowed the device that gave this little guy it’s squeak.  Another $3.00 at Pet Smart and he was replaced.

 

 

After our roof top shots, we headed to nearby courtyard with green space.  I’ve shot there before and really liked it.  The people who built this knew it was going to be used for pets because there were lots of dog poop bags for anyone to use.  And we used them, lots of them.

 

The minute those dogs hit the grass the poop arrived….and lots of it.  As a cat girl, I’m amazed at how much a dog can poop, especially three dogs…all at once.  Jenn and Paul spent the better part of 15 minutes chasing the dogs around with the little green baggies.  And laughing…lots of laughing.

 

 

 

 

After Pete and the others were empty (we hope) they spent the next 10 or so running around peeing on everything.  It’s what dogs do.  As they were peeing, I was setting up a small portable light so I wasn’t paying too much attention to what the dogs were doing.  Pete made the rounds peeing…on the bricks, on the grass, on the flowers, on my camera bag,  WHOA!

 

Yes, Pete peed on my camera bag.  What made it really bad is the top was open.  So drops of pee dripped down onto one of my lenses that I wasn’t using.  Thankfully, the front and rear element caps were on so it was just surface pee.

 

It all happened so fast.  Me, Jenn and Paul were all in different places, but we saw it at the same time.  It was like one of those slow-motion scenes in a movie.  We all yelled, “Noooooooooo” and then lunged for Pete, but by then it was too late.  The deed was done — and it was all over my bag.  Sorry folks, there are no photos of Pete peeing on my bag.

 

Poor Jenn looked mortified.  Pete looked in shock.  I just stood there stupefied.   After a few seconds, I searched my bag for a towel or a rag or something to absorb the pee.   I had forgotten for a moment about the towel I kept underneath the pee lens so I grabbed the only thing I had….a panty liner.  Yes, you read that right.  A used a panty liner.  Hey, a girls gotta be prepared.  And thankfully the liner did it’s job quite well.  I then realized I had the towel and used it to clean up the rest, including my hands.

 

Not long afterwards, Jenn and Paul kept apologizing.  I reassured them both it was OK…AND IT WAS OK.  How can I be upset at this?  It’s a dog.  And dogs pee.  It’s the risk you take when dogs are on engagement sessions.  NOTE TO SELF — for the next e-session with dogs, leave the camera bag in the car

 

Soon the pee was forgotten and we moved on for the rest of our e-session and made some great shots.

 

It’s been 10 days since the pee incident, lots of soap and water and several rounds of Febreeze and my bag still smells like pee.  I loved that bag.  It was a Tamrac and it gave me four loyal years of service, but I think it’s time to move on.  I’m thinking about a Think Tank Photo Airport Series bag.  I’m traveling quite a bit this coming year and I need a nice new bag that’s TSA compliant.

 

 

Be sure to check out Jenn and Paul’s e-session below.  Love you guys!  The dogs too….especially peeing Pete!

 

Wedding myths and other fun stuff

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Ladies – it’s 2011 and there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to wedding planning.  Today’s modern bride rarely follow any set of rules when it comes to wedding planning. It’s your day so do what you want.  I read this article in the High Profile section of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette and I thought it was perfect to share.

 

Wedding bells cause enough headaches without the noise of outdated or
misguided rules. Here are five wedding myths that happy couples and
their guests can banish from their to-do lists to save money, time or
grief.

Myth No. 1: Guests should spend on a wedding gift the same amount as
the per-person cost of being entertained at the reception.

The per-plate rule is outdated and impractical, said Mark Kingsdorf,
owner of The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants in Philadelphia and
a master bridal consultant with the Association of Bridal Consultants.

Guests should spend according to their personal relationship to the
bride and/ or groom and their financial situation. The closer you
are, the more you may wish to spend, but don’t worry about
expectations. “They’re inviting you because they love you, not
because they want a present from you,” Kingsdorf said.

Myth No. 2: The bride must wear white, and the guests better not.

The bride can wear whatever she pleases, and many brides today have a
pink or lavender underlay to their gowns for a blush tone, while
others add splashes of color with bright sashes or embroidery (and
still others walk down the aisle in fire-engine red).

Guests, meanwhile, may wear certain shades of white – but with
caution. The point is not to distract from the bride or her
attendants, Kingsdorf said. So if the bride is wearing a white ball
gown, a guest can get away with a knee-length ivory sheath,
especially if she adds colorful or chunky accessories that are
clearly unbridelike.

Myth No. 3: June is the best month for weddings.

The cachet of being a June bride has less-than-romantic roots: In the
Middle Ages, June weddings were advisable because brides were still
somewhat clean from their annual spring bath. Today, May and October
are more popular months to get married than June, according to Conde
Nast’s American Wedding Survey 2009.  And couples can often save money
getting married during less popular months.

Annual spring bath? Oh my I could make so many jokes
about this but I won’t….too funny.

 

Myth No. 4: The bride and groom shouldn’t see each other until she
walks down the aisle.

Because of superstition or to make a grand entrance, many couples
think it’s best to wait until the procession for the big debut – but,
in fact, it can be more romantic to have a “first look” with your
soonto-be spouse earlier in the day. “They can actually take the time
to connect together, by themselves,” said Christy Weber, co-founder
of JunebugWeddings, an online wedding magazine based in Seattle. It’s
also more relaxing to do the photo shoot before the ceremony rather than
slip away during the cocktail hour.

As a photographer, I always, ALWAYS suggest the first look.
It’s the perfect opportunity for the bride and groom to see each
other before the craziness starts.  Also, after I shoot a few photos,
even I leave the room. It’s the ONLY opportunity for them to be alone
together until the end of the evening.

Myth No. 5: Guests want party favors to take home from the reception.

“How many little silver picture frames do you have at home with a
couple’s picture inside? None, because you got rid of them,” Kingsdorf
said. The best party favors are edible ones, like chocolates, so
don’t waste money on candles, bottle stoppers or any other trinkets
that turn into clutter, Kingsdorf said. A photo booth is one way to give
your guests something meaningful to take with them. Another option is to
make a donation to charity in lieu of party favors.

I find favors to be a total waste of money.  I’ve heard of people cutting their photo
budget in order to provide said trinkets that usually get tossed in the trash.  If you must
provide a favor, make it something edible, like a bag-it-yourself candy bar or personalized
M&M’s.  Few people turn away sweets.

Uncle Bob is for Real

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It’s official!

Uncle Bob Photography is for Real.

Check out his timeless and inspiration photo tips on his Facebook Page by clicking here.  Oh —  BTW — this is a complete farce and too damn funny!